Our little coffee conversation

Imagine we’re sitting at a coffee shop, catching up after a really long time. I haven’t exactly made the effort to keep in touch with you. I’m really not the sort who does. But you should know it’s not that I forgot about you. It’s just that I’d rather brief you up on my life since we met last while I sit facing you than over a phone call or through texts.

Anyway, distance always brings hearts closer and that’s why I have no problem catching up with you from where we left it last. It’s been a couple weeks I suppose. Nothing much has changed except for the fact that I’m currently on the brink of a self revelation. I’ve realized I get way too blown away by mesmerizing words and enchanting conversations, which is actually not the real problem. The real problem is when I get the time to ponder over those conversations and realize that I’ve just been obsessing about the person because I’ve really never met someone like that before. Someone who takes life so literally and tries to interpret every word, punctuation, tone and the emotion of whatever I say!

In the beginning it all seems wonderful! He let me know that I can understand whatever he says and that very few people can actually do that! Me being me, gets what? That’s right… BLOWN AWAY! He explained to me how well we’ve bonded in a short time and I, for some good reason seemed to agree! Well, yes there was definitely a bond! That bond made sure I knew what to say to him, how to say it and when exactly to say it. Brilliance of the adaptability character that I actually love showing off!

Yeah, I know, you’ve stopped sipping your coffee… it’s become really cold and mine has to! You’re waiting for me to get to the worst part, so I’ll do that, right after I’ve asked the waiter for a refill.

So, where was I? Right. The bond. Now, this ‘bond’ wasn’t the same for him. I never got understood when I said anything. Most of the time there was something or the other being misinterpreted and then began the saga of countless interrogations and explanations. “What did you mean when you said that?” or “You know, I don’t quite like what you said!” At first, I thought it’s me. Maybe I can’t communicate. But now I don’t think that’s the problem. When I felt that this person was so different that he would take life so literally and I could get blown away by whatever he said, I thought (and that was probably a little naïve of me) that I could do it too. I’d say whatever came to mind and I finally have someone sitting in front of me who’d take it in and would not judge me for saying it. But as always, I get blown away too far and finally hit a wall… BAMM!!

Yeah, well, laugh all you want. I hope you choke on your hot coffee!

Bottom line, I started talking to a guy, an acquaintance actually. I thought this guy’s different. He’s random and funny and that’s awesome! Above all, he’s a clear glass (at least that’s what he says). And when I tried to be the clear glass for him to see through, he just decided to make me a mirror instead and look at his own ‘clear’ reflection through it! Not exactly a bond there, is it?

Well, good timing! Coffee’s done. But I’m definitely up for another round! So, what’s new with you? 🙂

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Don’t be sorry… Just Take it Back! :)

“Being impulsive is not right!” I don’t say this… but some do. Honestly, I’ve always envied those who just say everything that comes to their mind at the first shot and get over with it. While on the other hand there are people who think and rethink and think again before they’d say anything and in the end, the words just don’t translate their thoughts. They’re the diplomatic ones who keep everyone happy!

Honestly, being impulsive or diplomatic doesn’t matter. We are the way we are and no matter what we do or say or think, we are wonderful! We must never forget that.

But a conversation, no matter how magnificent; can be quite dangerous a concept for mankind. They have this innate quality that allows them to culminate into the most unfortunate endings where there’s hardly any room for an apology!

But there’s always room for one to “Take it Back”!

It happened while I was in conversation with a friend at his office and I mentioned something he ‘should’ have done. He responded in a calm voice, “I don’t believe in what’s not done in the past. Try taking it back and putting it as a suggestion for the future without mentioning the past at all.” As he said, I did. I ‘took it back’ and rephrased it the way he asked me to. I can’t really explain how I felt at that exact moment. But I know for sure that it only made me smile for having spoken something positive. After trying it a couple more times in different situations, I felt the need to talk about it (so, here I am)!

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Imagine yourself in a conversation with a friend or a partner. There’s no way you both are ever in agreement with what the other says. But overtime, it just becomes a habit to negate the other even if you later realize that he/she was right. But you’re impulsive and way too egoistic (which is awesome) to accept it ‘coz you know it’ll end up in an apology from you ;-).

It’s the beauty of the human mind. We take some time to process things that happen around us. By default, every human being is impulsive in nature. Being impulsive doesn’t make you any less kind as a person. Instead, it only highlights the most wonderful attribute of our existence – Imperfection.

When you say, “I take it back”, it basically translates into “Okay, so, I was wrong when I said that, it shouldn’t have sounded that way. What I really meant was…”

Now you’re probably thinking, “It’s easy to just keep talking about all this crap!” I agree. It’s easy to talk about it and it’s definitely not easy to just take back your words especially the first few times when you have no clue what went wrong. But once you do, it gives way for ego to pass, for arrogance to no longer be descriptive about us and above all, it takes the burden off the word ‘Sorry’!

I write this blog post with a smile on my face, for I’ve experienced first-hand, the virtue of taking it back. When you try this – and you will – with all your heart and soul, being honest to yourself more than anyone else; make sure you know how you feel. Don’t do it just for the heck of it. There are a hundred situations in a day when we say something we shouldn’t and out of those we are aware of at least 98 of such situations. That gives you enough practice to master the art of taking it back!

Do feel free to share your thoughts on this as well! Make sure you leave a comment!

Stay happy!

Cheers!

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