Table for one, please!

I wonder at times what’s actually wrong – choosing to be alone, or being lonely, in itself. It’s a little confusing when I’m asked why I’m at a place all by myself… why not? I guess it’s the general tendency to connect absolutely irrelevant dots – “she’s alone, oh the poor thing… she might have had a bad break up” or “she must be depressed about something” or even “nobody might want to hang out with her, let’s go and talk to her so she might feel better…” seriously people… ever heard of the phrase “me time”?

Today’s Writing 101 assignment was to get inspired by a picture. When I scanned through the ones on Unsplash, I came across this picture of a single cup of coffee on a table.

photo-1426260193283-c4daed7c2024

I thought of the days I visit coffee shops or ambient lounges by myself and ask the staff for a “table for one”. Frequently visited spots greet me with a smile and an occasional bowl of complimentary snacks, while I sit down to a cup of hot coffee or a mug of beer, with a book in hand – either to read or to write. I don’t know if they do it ‘coz I’m a really nice person or because they feel I’m a lonely soul.

If ‘lonely’ is equal to being unwillingly alone, then that’s not me… But I choose to be by myself at times, most of the time actually. I love being at my own disposal, not dependent on another, doing what I like when I like and more than anything, not having to explain the myriad shades of my mind to anyone while I stare into space.

Yes, there are times when being alone is the last thing I want. For those days, there are a few special ones standing by to make sure I’m not alone.

But honestly, I don’t get the whole concept of “No one ever wants to be alone” it’s a really sweet gesture by the one who thinks about it but there’s always this need for me to clear my head, to understand stuff, to work, or to just freak out. Being by myself lets me appreciate the little differences made to my life.

From couching at home, to sitting at a coffee shop, I’m never the ‘alone’ that’s perceived by people around. It’s just about having the choice to believe that my life is not defined by the people I’m with but by what I am, whether it’s solitarily or socially.

We love hanging out with those select few people who we call friends. Well, I’m my friend and I know that no one could understand me better than myself. If spending time with someone who understands you, gives you the happiness much needed, then what’s so painfully different about me being the “lonely” one?

Cheers

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/me-time/”>Me Time</a>

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15 thoughts on “Table for one, please!

  1. You are right of course, but I do recognize that most people think differently and ad a sad story to being alone. Being a mother and a wife, helping out my elderly mom plus working full time I hardly have time alone. The moments that I have, commuting in the train in my alone bubble, are very precious to me!

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  2. Hey Idler!

    You are a confident person.

    Paramhamsa Yogananda said

    ” Solitude is the prize of greatness.”

    Why do we need greatness?

    I agree, solitude and loneliness are worlds apart.

    Love and light ❤

    Anand 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I quite enjoy a solo day, full of solo shopping, watching movie in cinema alone and had dinner out alone 🙂
    I have been travelling solo for few times as well.
    I get that people think being in a group of people will be lot of fun, but fun or not it’s all back to ourself if we can enjoy our time alone, then it’s also a fun time! 🙂

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  4. I think there is difference between being alone and being lonely. “Lonely” is the feeling that no one waits for You, no one cares about You and this feeling is absolutely not fine. People who really feel loneliness don’t say that they are happy with it. Because loneliness is destructive. Human beings are created to be social, to share feelings and experiences and grow by this sharing. Being alone is very good for mind and body. Two toddlers mom talking here 😉 Being alone and not feel bad is very positive, it means You are comfortable with Yourself, with that inner voice, with Your thoughts. I believe that when people learn how to be alone and not to feel bad about it, they learn very strong life lesson.
    I really enjoyed Your post, thank You!

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    1. I agree with you on the difference between being alone and being lonely bit. But it really gets to me when people consider being alone as being lonely! It creates a really negative space and if it’s a little too affecting, then it questions our own ideas of having an alone time! So, I just wanted to convey that if they think that I’m lonely, then I wouldn’t want to take the same literal meaning out of that word. I’d rather look at “lonely” the same way I’d think of the word “alone”.
      Thank you, Elena, for sharing your insight and I’m glad you enjoyed it! 🙂 .

      Liked by 1 person

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